


The Spaces Before, During, and After

by bck72creative



Series: The Spaces Before, During, and After [1]
Category: Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alicante (Shadowhunter Chronicles), Canon Gay Character, Canon Gay Relationship, Coming Out, Downworlders, Fantasy, Gay Male Character, Gay Sex, Immortality, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Nephilim, POV Alec Lightwood, POV Magnus Bane, Sexual Content, Sexual Fantasy, Sexual Tension, Surprise Kissing, True Love, True Love's Kiss, Warlock Magnus Bane
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-02
Updated: 2016-10-04
Packaged: 2018-08-19 05:20:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8191678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bck72creative/pseuds/bck72creative
Summary: Each chapter in this series will deal with a different Malec scene in the Mortal Instruments book series or the Shadowhunters TV show (I will note which is which in the notes). In all cases, the snippets will be more around what the characters were thinking in the spaces before, during, and after the scene I use as inspiration.My stories here mark my first foray into publicly shared creative writing, so I hope that you will comment on what I write (be gentle and constructive, please, lol), as that will be the only way that I will be able to grow and improve. My hope is that you enjoy what I write as much as I enjoy writing it. With time, I will be writing original content that isn't tied directly to the books or the television series (once I have flexed my writing muscles enough and get the courage to do so).





	1. A Kiss Shall Set You Free

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter revolves around the scene where Alec kisses Magnus in the Accords Hall in 'City of Glass', one of the biggest scenes in the series (imho). I am sure there are a million stories out there starting from this topic--I hope that mine is as original as it can be. There isn't much in the way of dialog, as these snippets are more of an exploration around what the characters were thinking and what their motivations were. I have only recently discovered the Shadowhunters series, and I'm hooked.
> 
> Snippet 1 is from Alec's point of view as he looks for Magnus in the Accords Hall, before meeting up with Isabelle, Simon, and Maia
> 
> Snippet 2 is from Magnus' point of view as he searches for Alec to accept the Alliance Rune
> 
> Snippet 3 is a look at Alec and Magnus' interaction once they find one another and a little more detail of the immediate aftermath of their public display of affection
> 
> I have made the text representing character dialog bold to make it easier to find.
> 
> I use music as inspiration when I write. For these three story snippets, I used the following musical piece:
> 
> 'My Name is Lincoln' by Steve Jablonsky from 'The Island' Soundtrack (2005)
> 
> This particular track works very well: it has a soft beginning that escalates to a joyful chorus (with the right person, you can sometimes hear a choir of angels singing when you kiss), that slips again into a soft, endearing end.
> 
> This music track is from the sci-fi film 'The Island' which is a story about clones who assert their right to exist as individuals, not as organ donors for the wealthy. In a way, this is a similar situation where Alec finally asserts his right to be open about who he is and who he loves.
> 
> ****I have updated my writing in each of these snippets to be clearer and to deal with several grammatical issues which were driving me crazy. If any of my previous writing caused your eyes, your soul, or both to bleed, I ask your forgiveness. (bck 3 - 4 October 2016)****
> 
> See more notes at the end

**Snippet 1 -- Alec looking for Magnus in the Accords Hall**

As word about the Alliance Rune began to make it’s way through the crush of Shadowhunters and Downworlders in the Accords Hall, Alec began, in earnest, to search for the only person he would ally with—Magnus. Alec had struggled to compartmentalize the raw emotions he felt as a result of everything that had happened in the past day, but in the end, compartmentalize them he did. His mind went through a checklist of what happened: the fall of Alicante's protective wards, Alicante overrun by demons, the wanton death and destruction throughout the city, the shaken faith in the Clave's ability to deal with Valentine, and the heart-wrenching death of his younger brother Max at the hands of Sebastian. All of the emotions these events triggered were trying to break through the walls Alec erected to prevent his mind from being overwhelmed. Thankfully, Alec was extraordinarily talented, from years of practice, when it came to building walls of self-preservation..

Moving through the turbulent sea of Shadowhunters and Downworlders in the hall, he noticed many couples embracing one another, sharing their love and concern for one another before pairing off with a stranger. It was so natural and commonplace that no one gave it a second thought; Alec desperately wanted to feel the same freedom everyone else was taking for granted around him. Witnessing this made Alec think back to earlier when he saved Magnus from a demon that he didn’t see, and the subsequent conversation he and Magnus had in Cistern Square after dispatching the remaining Iblis demons occupying the area. Helping Magnus was second-nature to Alec, as that is what Shadowhunters did, but it was much more than that. There was a deep wellspring of feelings that he had for Magnus, so deep, in fact, that he couldn’t find the words to express them to him, which was part of the problem. Looking back, he regretted that he sounded so inexcusably petulant, as he replayed their conversation back in his mind.

 **You never called me back. I called you so many times, and you never called me back.** (Magnus looked at him like he was crazy, in light of current events, before saying anything.)

 **The Wards have broken, and the streets are full of demons. And you want to know why I haven’t called you?** (Magnus’ response caused Alec to dig his heels in—after all, he was the aggrieved party in this dispute, right?)

**I want to know why you haven’t called me _back_.**

**You’re an idiot**. (Alec had never witnessed Magnus on the edge of losing self-control like this before, which lent power to what Magnus was saying.)

 **Is that why you didn’t call me? Because I’m an idiot?** (Magnus moved swiftly into Alec’s personal space bubble for added emphasis before unloading on him.)

 **No, I’m tired of watching you be in love with someone _else_ —someone, incidentally, who will never love you back. Not the way I do.** (It took a moment for Magnus’ admission to truly register in his mind, which caused Alec to begin to realize that his view that he was the aggrieved party in all of this might not be correct.)

**You _love_ me?**

**You stupid Nephilim! Why else am I here? Why else would I have spent the past few weeks patching up all your moronic friends every time they got hurt? And getting you out of every ridiculous situation you found yourself in? Not to mention, helping you win a battle against Valentine. And all completely free of charge!** (And then, in perfect form, he responded with an honest admission that involved putting his foot in his mouth leaving a taste of shoe leather behind.)

**I hadn’t looked at it that way.**

**Of course not. You never looked at it in any way.** (Magnus was glad that Alec was honest with himself. But damn, how oblivious and self-absorbed could this boy be?)

The exchange had shaken Alec enough that he promised that if they managed to survive the new horde of demons filling Cistern Square that he’d introduce Magnus to his whole family. They survived the battle, and Alec had every intention of living up to his promise. Engaging in a relationship with Magnus had been the first big step he had taken to embrace and own who he truly was. Introducing Magnus to his whole family as his boyfriend was going to be an even larger step.

Alec was having no luck finding Magnus in the crowd, but he did manage to see Isabelle, Simon, and the young werewolf girl and began to make his way toward them. He resolved that he was going to let Magnus know his true feelings when he found him, especially in light of the coming battle. Alec was confident that good would win over evil and that he and Magnus would make it out safely, but there was always a chance one of them wouldn’t. The thought of their argument in Cistern Square potentially being the last conversation they had didn’t sit well with Alec—he needed to find Magnus, and he needed to find him now. While he wasn’t yet sure what he was going to do or say, the one thing of which he was sure was that Magnus would not have reason to doubt Alec’s feelings for him.

Neither Isabelle nor Simon knew where Magnus was, though they did steer Alec away from embarrassing himself by pouncing on a werewolf girl by mistake. After a few more moments of searching, Alec spotted Magnus, excitedly blurted out ' **There’s Magnus!** ' and began to move toward him quickly, so as to not lose sight of him again. With each step he took, Alec realized how he was going to tell Magnus his feelings about him, and if everything worked out, it was going to kill two birds with one stone.

~~~~~~~

**Snippet 2 -- Magnus looking for Alec in the Accords Hall**

Magnus began to search for Alec in the tangle of Shadowhunters and Downworlders in the Accords Hall as they paired off in uneasy, yet necessary alliances. He was also searching for a location in the hall that was as inconspicuous as possible, under the present circumstances, as he was sure that Alec would want to mark him with the Alliance Rune and would want to do so in an area away from as many people as possible. While Magnus was beginning to tire of Alec’s rigid secrecy, not to mention his total obliviousness concerning their relationship, he was still willing to go along with all of it because he knew that that was what Alec still needed. A pang of sadness washed over Magnus while thinking about the small, confining world that Alec had built around himself, out of sheer necessity. Though the walls he constructed to protect himself were both high and thick, Alec was still capable of showing compassion for others, especially those who were different. The irony was that he wasn’t able to apply that same compassion to himself, at least not yet. Magnus sighed, thinking how right Clary was when she said that doing the right thing for the person you love can really suck.

After several minutes of searching, Magnus was still unable to find Alec, nor a truly inconspicuous location in the main Hall—there were just too many Shadowhunters and Downworlders around. If Alec wanted complete privacy, the only option would be to try and find an empty room inside or leave the Hall and find somewhere private outside. Of course, choosing either of those options could potentially make Alec feel even more exposed than simply being in the Hall surrounded by everyone else. In Alec’s mind, being seen leaving with Magnus alone, for even a short amount of time, could be interpreted as suspicious in the eyes of some, presenting a risk of being caught, especially if they let their guard down and engaged in any display of affection. After all, Magnus did have a bit of a reputation in the Downworld that was well-known to Shadowhunters. So, once more, their public interaction would have to be played as straight-laced as possible.

Magnus began to steel himself to play the character he needed to be for Alec’s sake. He longed to be open about their relationship, to show even the most innocent display of affection for the only person to wholly capture his heart and soul—holding Alec’s hand, a chaste kiss, the simple look of joy that is evident when you are in the presence of the person you love. Alec gave him the hope that this could eventually be possible by taking an important first step: promising to introduce Magnus to his family if they survived the demon attack in Cistern Square, which they obviously did. While Magnus believed Alec would keep his word, there was no timeline in place for that all-important introduction—for all he knew, it could be a long wait. Magnus closed his eyes to find the motivation he needed play the role of 'acquaintance' or 'friend.' His motivation, as always, was to think about Alec’s impossibly blue eyes—the eyes that melted his heart and soul and compelled him to acquiesce to Alec’s wish for a discreet personal life, even if there was an emotional cost for Magnus.

Before opening his eyes, Magnus inhaled a deep, slow breath to attempt to calm his mind. It was near impossible to find a sense of inner peace when all around him he could feel the energy emanating from Shadowhunters and Downworlders alike: fear, mistrust, resignation, sadness, rage, and resolve. As he gave up his futile effort to calm his mind, he heard a voice nearby, a voice which he was intimately familiar with say: There’s Magnus’, but in a tone that sounded both relieved and openly enthusiastic. Magnus opened his eyes and turned slightly to see Alec striding toward him with confidence and purpose, causing people to part as he walked forward through the crowd. There was a difference in both Alec’s gait and his eyes as he made his way toward Magnus—a difference that could only be discerned by someone who was intimately familiar with him.

With each step that brought Alec closer, Magnus’ mind could only register shock at what he was seeing unfold before him. The confidence that he exuded and the look of, dare he say it, love, in Alec’s deep blue eyes was not something he was not accustomed to seeing from Alec in public. Magnus suddenly, and for no apparent reason, had an image of a fainting goat pop into his mind, and wondered if fainting goats felt as he currently did just before they stiffened and fell, ungraciously, to the ground. Before he could ponder further about the feelings of fainting goats, Alec was standing in front of him, silently looking into his eyes.

~~~~~~~

** Snippet 3 -- Magnus and Alec Together, the Kiss, and the aftermath **

**‘Magnus,’ Alec said softly, yet firmly. ‘would you be my partner in battle?’**

For a brief moment, Magnus felt as though he was in high school, being asked to go to the Homecoming dance with Alec, rather than to be his partner in the coming battle. Part of him wanted to laugh, while another part of him was glad that, while he was shocked at Alec's demeanor, he apparently wasn’t going to embarrass himself by collapsing like a fainting goat in front of everyone.

All Magnus could do was look into Alec’s eyes and ever so slightly nodded his assent—had he opened his mouth to say anything it would have led to one of two things. The first would have been to snicker about his visions of being in high school receiving a Homecoming date request. The second would have been to say something sarcastic: _**‘Well, I was hoping that it would be my BFF Maryse that came to me to partner up for the battle, but since you’re here, I guess it’s ok…you idiot, there’s no one else that I would want to partner up with.’** _ Both options would have ruined what appeared to be a moment for Alec. Hence he said nothing at all.

Alec took Magnus’ hand and turned it over to expose his palm, holding it in a way that was intensely intimate. His long fingers were almost imperceptibly caressing the back of his hand as he held it in place. Magnus honestly began to wonder if Alec was aware that they were still in a room full of people who had no idea that he and Alec were in a relationship.

Reaching into a pocket, Alec brandished his stele and touched it to Magnus’ skin. Alec lowered his head to see better as he began to slowly and precisely draw the Alliance rune Clary created across Magnus’ palm. There was only slight discomfort as Alec drew—Magnus might have felt more pain if he wasn’t so focused on deciphering Alec’s behavior, not to mention being turned on by Alec as he drew the rune on his flesh. As he watched the rune taking shape, the intimacy of the moment almost overwhelmed Magnus; he felt his free hand begin to rise so that he could run his fingers through Alec’s jet black hair, a favorite pastime of his. Coming to his senses, Magnus moved his hand back down by his side.

After a few more moments, Alec pocketed his stele, but was still looking down at his handiwork. Cupping Magnus’ hand in both of his, he ran both of his thumbs across the rune he drew on his palm. Magnus felt more confused by Alec’s escalating intimate behavior, unsure as to where it would lead him. Yes, this was a welcome change, but Magnus’ concern began to mount for Alec, as people nearby were starting to stare at both of them, with quizzical looks on their faces.

Raising his head, Alec looked deeply into Magnus’ gold-green eyes—the eyes that were always able to pierce through the walls around his heart. As he locked his gaze on Magnus, Alec could tell that he had no idea what was happening, but hoped that Magnus could read his eyes and see the powerful message that he was sending to him. Unlike Jace, Alec had a difficult time with words—not because he was stupid, but because he was so accustomed to locking his thoughts and feeling deep within. There was so much he wanted and needed to say, but he honestly didn't have the vocabulary to speak the necessary words.

 **‘Magnus…I…uh…before we go to battle…’** began Alec in fits and starts that always occurred when he wanted to say something of a personal nature. Alec wasn’t sure why he tried to professing his feelings for Magnus verbally because he was admittedly terrible when it came to speaking about how he felt. Rather than become more frustrated trying to sound profound, Alec decided it was better to show Magnus what he wanted to say. Magnus began to open his mouth to say something, but the words stuck in his throat as Alec wrapped one arm around Magnus’ waist and drew him closer, while his other arm inched up, grazing Magnus’ cheek, to cup the back of Magnus’ head. His fingers slipped into Magnus’ silk-like hair as he leaned in and began to kiss the most important man in his life. As Alec began to surrender himself to all the feelings he felt for Magnus, everyone else in the room receded into nothingness. What was important was this open declaration to Magnus, and everyone else, that this was who he was and who he loved.

Magnus was shocked to his core by Alec and could only manage to stand frozen in place as the reality of what was happening began to register in his mind. He felt Alec’s arm tighten further around his waist as if he was clinging to a boat mast to hold himself steady in the midst of the roiling sea of emotion that drove Alec to do what he did. With the touch of Alec’s lips to his, Magnus felt the familiar spark of excitement crackle across every nerve throughout his body that he experienced every time they kissed. Instinctively, he closed his eyes and fully surrendered himself to Alec. As their kiss continued, Magnus could feel the energy of the room change and noticed that the once loud din was becoming quiet murmuring that spread quickly from one end of the Hall to the other. 

After what felt like a blissful eternity, Alec broke their intimate bond and unwrapped his arm from Magnus’ waist and moved both hands to cup his face between them. Alec looked serenely at Magnus with eyes of otherworldly blue, and then rested his forehead against Magnus’, breathing steadily and deeply, as if to get his bearings, using Magnus as his anchor. Magnus opened his eyes and was able to see the reactions of Shadowhunters and Downworlders around the room. Some faces were registering confusion, while others were showing restrained hostility and disgust. Maryse and Robert Lightwood came into focus at the other end of the hall as the Shadowhunters and Downworlders near them began to move away, not knowing what else to do. Maryse’s face was contorting with the range of emotions she was feeling, and she covered her mouth so as to prevent any sound from passing her lips. Robert stood beside Maryse, aiming smoldering rage squarely at the one who had apparently corrupted and defiled his first-born son. Magnus might have been intimidated by Robert’s reaction to him if he wasn’t already supremely confident and comfortable with who he was—one of the benefits of hundreds of years of experience. What concerned Magnus, however, was whether or not Alec would be able to weather the storm he just set in motion within his family, and the Clave in general, with this bold, very public statement. Dealing with strangers and people you barely know, while difficult, is the easy part; dealing with hostility and confusion from the people you knew the most, family and friends, was far more problematic. 

Magnus gently and quietly grasped both of Alec’s wrists and pulled his hands away from his face and asked **‘Alec, what prompted you to do _that_?’**. 

Alec could feel every eye in the room boring into the back of his skull, as well as the waves of negativity aimed in their general direction. Alec kept his gaze on Magnus to give himself time to deal with the mounting negativity aimed at them. After a few moments, he was able to speak.

 **‘Magnus, I, I…’** Alec stammered out. He closed his eyes and took a long, deep breath. **‘We are heading into a battle. I…I just…just in case…ugh, you know I’m not good with words…I…I’m sorry.’**

There was no need for Alec to explain, as Magnus knew what Alec was attempting to say. 

This situation needed some catty humor to alleviate some of the mounting tension within Alec. ‘ **Well, your kiss said far more than words could convey, not to mention, it may have bordered on performance art—I am sure this is a moment that no one will soon forget. Don’t worry about not finding the right words—I see a lot of other individuals having problems finding the right words as well, though admittedly, they aren’t resorting to kissing their partner to convey what their lack of words won’t let them say. That’s probably a good thing, though—have you seen some of these pairs?’**

Alec let out a stifled laugh which helped release some of the tension he was internalizing. Magnus became serious again. **’You do know that this kiss changes everything, right?’**

Alec’s previously soft demeanor became more rigid, as his Shadowhunter tendencies, concerning emotion, began to kick in. **‘There’s no turning back now Magnus. Lightwoods tend to take action first and accept the consequences of those actions later, right?’**

Magnus leaned inward toward Alec and began to whisper in his ear, which sent tingles down Alec’s spine. **‘We’ll get through this together. I’m so proud of you.’**

Alec smiled briefly and said **‘We need to meet up with the others. Let’s go.’** He turned around and faced all those in the Hall and noticed their looks of shock, contempt, and disgust; what he didn’t see were his parents, though he was not surprised. He pushed any sense of foreboding aside, and in true Shadowhunter style, ignored everyone around him, and with Magnus in tow, resolutely strode back to Isabelle, Simon, and Maia.

Upon Alec and Magnus’ arrival, the group began to speak excitedly with Alec about how courageous he was and how happy everyone was for both of them. After a few moment, Magnus quietly began to move to a nearby corner as he felt the need to lose himself in thought. The few Shadowhunters occupying the corner moved quickly away from Magnus, but not before giving him looks of disgust as well as colorful commentary about his lineage and sexuality. Magnus managed a look of utter boredom mixed with contempt, as he had heard all of this innumerable times before. To make a point that he considered the one-sided discussion to be over, he snapped his fingers to activate his magic, which was done with dramatic flair to serve as a warning to them. The Shadowhunters took the hint and walked away, shaking their heads and mumbling about Downworlders as they did so. Once alone, he leaned up against the wall and slowly exhaled. While Magnus was happy that Alec was finally able to take his first steps to own who he was, he still had some lingering doubts about what the future between them held. The pressure that was only just now beginning to descend on Alec could lead to any number of reactions from him. For now, he thought, it might be best for a tactical retreat to the closet. However, from this point on, the closet door would remain open, not closed. It would be up to Alec to decide how far out he wanted to venture, with Magnus there, every step of the way.

He smiled at Alec when he looked over in his direction and winked at him suggestively to keep the mood light. Alec smiled in return, which lit up not just his face, but his entire being. There was no way that Magnus would ever tire of that smile, as it engulfed and consumed him in the best possible way. After Alec had turned back to speak with Isabelle again, Magnus realized, with sadness, that it might be a long time before any of them could feel happy and lighthearted again; there was a looming darkness that stretched out before them. War was a terrible thing, though sometimes a necessity; this was a war that the Shadowhunters simply had to win. If they didn’t, the horrors that would befall both the mundane and Shadow World were too terrible for Magnus to contemplate.


	2. Hormones and Alec's Moans or Something Pops Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My next chapter should be coming out within the week! I enjoyed writing my first chapter, and I am loving writing my second. This new chapter has allowed me to be a little more creative than my first one. Stay tuned for more.

This chapter is coming soon!

**Author's Note:**

> I look forward to any comments and constructive criticism you may have. This will be my first public foray into creative writing, specifically fan-fiction. Because I am new to the world of Shadowhunters, I hope that my writing honors the characters created by Cassandra Clare.
> 
> Because I work so much, my writing will be sporadic--any words of encouragement are greatly appreciated. With time, I would love to collaborate with someone to delve further into the world of Shadowhunters or to create a completely new, alternate world written in such a way as to still seem recognizable to fans of the book series.
> 
> Thank you, from a novice!


End file.
